


freedom (to be who you are)

by liionne



Series: A thousand ways to meet [41]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hurt/Comfort, Implied abuse, M/M, Mild Smut, Nerd!Jim, Punk!Bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:43:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2027247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liionne/pseuds/liionne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of people were scared of Leonard and Christine- well, not scared, but put off. The jet black hair with bright tips and highlights, the dark clothes, the smudged eyeliner, and the smoking behind the English department during free periods. And the skull and crossbones on the shoulders of his leather jacket did nothing to make him more appealing. That was kind of the idea.</p><p>But Jim had never seemed uneasy around him. Not any more than he was around anyone else, anyway. He looked up, his hands shaking and his cheeks bright red. He blushed even deeper, a feat Leonard hadn't known was possible, and looked up at Leonard through large, square-rimmed glasses.</p><p>Title from the quote: "To me, punk rock is the freedom to create, freedom to be successful, freedom to not be successful, freedom to be who you are. It's freedom." - Patti Smith</p>
            </blockquote>





	freedom (to be who you are)

**Author's Note:**

> a punk!bones and nerd!jim au because help me i'm dying. also, i have no idea about punks, so if leonard is far less punk than you were expecting i'm so sorry, and i also know nothing about american high schools, being a simple English college-goer, so I apologise for that too. And for any mistakes that might be in here!
> 
> Anyway. This was based on a hell of a lot of posts and prompts on tumblr, too many to catalog, but kudos to all the people out there who thought this verse up.

This month's colour was pink, and though he had his doubts, Leonard had to admit that Christine had been right. The contrast of the bright pink fringe with the jet black he'd died the rest of his hair was actually a good look.

"Told you so." Christine smirked as they reached their lockers. The tips of her hair were still died blue, but it was fading fast. "Maybe I'll try the pink next too."

"We can't match." Leonard said, as he pulled his books out of his bag, the beaten up old rucksack that he'd been using ever since he was a freshman. He exchanged his chemistry text book for his biology text book and notebook, and closed the locker with a bang. "Then people'll think we're a couple."

Christie screwed up her features and shook her head. "We can't have that."

Christine solely batted for the other team, and she was pretty damn sure of that fact. "Always have been," She told Leonard once, when they were first getting to know each other, "I used to take the skirts of my barbies, but ever once took the pants off a Ken doll. Used to go after the girls in Kissy Chase too."

Leonard wasn't as sure as she was, and for one main reason: Jim Kirk.

He was about to stay something sarcastic, but then there was a loud bang, the sound of something clattering against the lockers, and Leonard knew exactly what it would be. He sighed; Jim had just been shoved into his lockers again.

The kid was scrabbling with the books that had fell to the floor, grabbing and clutching at the papers that skittered out from them. Christine was talking, but Leonard stepped away, heading towards Jim, where he knelt on the floor.

His crush on Jim had only started their senior year; Christine was sure he'd get over it, but Leonard really _wasn't_. A crush of his never lasted longer than a few weeks, not after Jocelyn.

(Jocelyn being the girl he'd dated from Sophomore year through to last summer, when she'd dumped his ass for Clay Treadway, who was in his biology class. Christine said it was a good thing. She was always trying to change him anyway.)

He stooped to pick up some of the papers, collecting them together with broad hands. He tried not to kneel if he could, because kneeling in skinny was easier said than done (though the tears across the thighs and the knees did give him a little room to move) but he'd do anything for Jim Kirk.

"Here." He said, hand outstretched, showing off his chipped black nail polish. He should really redo it; it was getting far more chipped than he usually allowed it to. "I hope they're not ruined."

A lot of people were scared of Leonard and Christine- well, not scared, but put off. The jet black hair with bright tips and highlights, the dark clothes, the smudged eyeliner, and the smoking behind the English department during free periods. They never skipped a class. Whether or not people knew that Leonard wasn't sure, but it was true. And the skull and crossbones on the shoulders of his leather jacket did nothing to make him more appealing. That was kind of the idea.

But Jim- Jim had never seemed uneasy around him. Not anymore than he was around anyone else, anyway. He looked up, his hands shaking and his cheeks bright red. He blushed even deeper, a feat Leonard hadn't known was possible, and looked up at Leonard through large, square-rimmed glasses.

"Thanks." He murmured, taking the papers. Their hands brushed. Jim blushed even harder. "I- Thank you."

"No problem." Leonard nodded as the bell sounded for first period. He stood, and Jim followed suit, jerky little movements. The blow must have been hard enough to really shake him. "They okay?"

"Y-yeah." Jim nodded. "Yeah, they're okay."

"Good." Leonard nodded. He gave a tiny smile, and he stepped away.

And that was the extent of their interaction.

"Come on," Christine scolded when he got back to her side. He was still looking over his shoulder, looking back at Jim, who was fumbling in his locker. "We're going to be late."

"Yeah." Leonard nodded. "yeah, come on."

Jim would be fine. He always was.

~*~

Except for the one occasion when he wasn't.

Leonard had had a free period on his own, which meant he took himself off to the bleachers, because he really did like the sunshine, and studied. He studied a hell of a lot harder than people expected. He knew that he came with a certain label; he was stereotyped a hell of a lot. But he really did study- hell, he wanted to be a doctor. And he knew he was going to have to dial all of this down if he was going to be a doctor, but for the time being, he needed to study.

Halfway through the hour, though, he had that familiar feeling; itching, twitchy fingers, a horribly dry mouth. He needed a cigarette. So he packed his stuff away and carted himself off to the English department, already digging around for his lighter.

He heard a soft sobbing sound, the hitching of breaths, whining, like someone was trying not to cry but they just couldn't help it.

Jim was sitting looking at a smashed phone and crumpled up sheets of paper. Leonard put his lighter back in his pocket. Apparently he wouldn't be having a smoke anytime soon.

"Uh- you okay?"

Jim jumped and looked up. He hastily took his glasses off to wipe his eyes, and then replaced them. He looked odd without his glasses on. Leonard had never seen him without them.

"I'm- I'm fine." He nodded, his voice watery and broken.

Leonard went to sit down on the wall beside him. "You don't look fine." He said softly. He wasn't going to force Jim into anything. "Y'know if you want to talk to me, you can."

"I don't even know you." Jim said, pursing his lips and looking up at Leonard, who nodded. "Not really, anyway."

"I know. Maybe that's better. More anonymous, or something." Leonard shrugged.

Jim nodded and looked down at the remnants of his phone. It was completely smashed. There would be no more using it, that was for sure. He could see its insides.

"My- my step dad's going to kill me." Jim said. "He's gonna be so mad. I- I promised him I'd look after it, he paid a lot for it, and I broke it."

"You broke it?" Leonard asked. "Or someone else broke it?"

Jim pursed his lips. He wasn't going to tell, apparently.

"Jim." Leonard murmured as he scooted along the wall. The other seemed somewhat startled that Leonard knew his name. "You can tell me."

"Hendorff. Hendorff pushed me into the wall. Hit my side, and my phone was in my pocket, and when I pulled it out-" Jim's breathing hitched and his voice broke, and Leonard pursed his lips as he began to sob again. He set an arm around Jim's shoulders and pulled him into his side, and Jim went willingly, glad for the comfort, no doubt.

"It'll be okay, Jim." Leonard promised. "It was an accident, it'll be fine."

Jim sniffed, and nodded, but it was quite obvious that he didn't believe him. When the bell went for fourth period, Leonard walked him right the way to his AP Physics class, and told him once more that it would be fine, it was just an accident. Everything was going to be okay. He was still itching for a smoke, but he'd have to live with that. Jim had needed the help.

That was the closest he'd ever been to Jim, and he hadn't really had time to savour the smell of him, or the feel of him, his warmth. Maybe there'd be a next time, when he wasn't crying and he wasn't upset, when Leonard could truly appreciate the contact.

~*~

Jim's phone breaking had not been an accident. It had been the result of Hendorff pushing him into that wall. And Leonard's fist connecting with Hendorff's jaw was no accident either.

"God damn son of a bitch!" Leonard cussed, going in again, aiming this time for his nose. He felt the bone break under the connection. Good. "Think it's alright to pick on people? Think it's alright to be a god damn asshole? Pick on someone your own size, jackass! Or better yet, don't pick on anyone at all!"

He aimed for his jaw again, but was thrown off by Hendorff aiming for his own jaw. The connection knocked him for a second, confused him. He threw one last punch before a teacher came out to break them up.

"That's enough, gentleman." Pike said, arms outstretched to separate them. "Into my office, _now_. Everyone else, clear out and get to class."

Leonard sat in Pike's office and was thoroughly chewed out, even after he explained what had happened to Jim.

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, McCoy." Pike warned him as Leonard left. "Remember that."

"Yes sir." Leonard muttered. Only once the door was shut did he shake his fist. His knuckles were bloody. He didn't know whose blood it was, though.

"Why did you do that?"

He had expected that question to come from Christine (and it did, later, but right now she was sat in AP Chemistry, without him) but it was in fact coming from Jim. Leonard turned to meet his gaze, and he noted that Jim had a black eye. A black eye that definitely hadn't been there yesterday. As if he knew what he was looking at, Jim gulped.

"It was an accident." Jim said. "Fooling around with my brother."

Leonard nodded. He had a bad feeling, but he didn't know why.

"And you never answered my question." Jim said.

"I-" Now it was Leonard's turn to stutter. "I don't like bullies. And he was a bully. Vigilante justice."

Jim gave a small smile. He looked like he wanted to laugh but wouldn't let himself, and Leonard committed that look to memory. Maybe he'd get Jim to laugh one day.

But then his smile faded, and he swallowed thickly. "You didn't- you didn't do that for me, did you?"

"Would you be mad at me if I did?" Leonard asked, eyebrows raising.

Jim shook his head, but then he thought it about. "Well, maybe a little. But I'd be more confused. Why would you-"

"Because you don't deserve it." Leonard answered. "You don't deserve to get picked on so much. You're smart. And you're a good kid. You've never done anything to anyone."

Jim blushed, and looked down at his feet. "I- Thanks, Bones."

"Bones?" Leonard asked.

"The skull and crossbones on your jacket." Jim answered, and Leonard smiled.

"Right." He nodded. "So you're not mad?"

"I am mad." Jim answered. "But I'm grateful, too." He smiled properly this time, and Leonard felt his heart skip. "Thank you, Bones. Maybe Hendorff won't mess with me anymore."

Leonard smiled a little wider, prompted by Jim's own smile. "Fingers crossed."

~*~

No one messed with Jim anymore. None of the usual bullies gave him a second glance, because now, he was friends with Leonard and Christine. Well, more Leonard than Christine, but still. He sat with them for lunch, he spent free periods with them- Leonard even gave up smoking so that he could spend less time round the back of the English department and more time with Jim.

But that only resulted in him thinking about Jim a hell of a lot more. When he wasn't with Jim, he was thinking about him. He'd think about how soft his lips looked, how it would feel to run his fingers through his hair, and what it would be like to hold his hand. At night, he'd think about Jim with a hand stuffed down his boxers; he'd think about Jim writhing beneath him as Leonard sucked deep marks into his skin, how cute he'd look in those glasses as Leonard fucked him, how he'd stumble over his words as he came.

Leonard was in way too deep, but he didn't want to get himself out. He was more than happy to be in this deep.

"What happens during anaphase?" Leonard asked, looking up from his text book.

Jim answered without hesitation. "The spindle fibres contract, separating the chromatids and pulling them to opposite sides of the cell. Right?"

Leonard grinned. "When are you ever wrong?"

Jim blushed, but it was true. Jim never got a question wrong. Neither did Leonard, but only when it came to science and maths. He was still having trouble getting a handle on his humanity subjects.

"Give me three facts about Emancipation in Russia." Jim prompted, and Leonard groaned.

"Uh- serfs lost 20% of their land, and- and they- they didn't have to-"

Leonard groaned and fell backward, eyes closing against the harsh sunshine. He liked the sun, but it was a little too-bright today. He used his leather jacket as a pillow, and squinted up at the sky. "I give up."

"You can't give up." Jim retorted, shifting to lay on his stomach by Leonard's side, looking down at him. "You gonna do that at finals?"

"Probably." Leonard answered.

In response, Jim pursed his lips. "Come on." He said. "Three facts."

"I don't know, Jim." Leonard sighed. He closed his eyes. "i genuinely don't know."

"Fine." Jim grabbed a hold of his hand, and Leonard's eyes immediately opened, turning to look at him. He had a pen in his hand, and he was writing something on Leonard's exposed forearm. He never took his leather jacket off, never ever, but it was way too hot to keep it on today. Even Jim had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and he usually kept them down. Leonard kind of like that. When Jim pulled back, he lifted his arm to look at it.

_1\. Serfs lost 20-40% of their land._   
_2\. Serfs were now free to marry, move, and own their own businesses._   
_3\. Domestic serfs got no land at all._

Leonard let his arm flop back to his side, and he gave Jim a small smile.

"Thanks, Jim." He murmured.

Jim nodded. "As long as you'e got three, you can write three separate paragraphs for the essay, and that'll get you an A." He explained. Leonard still didn't know how he remembered all of that mundane crap, but apparently, he managed.

"What's that?" Jim asked, after a moment's silence.

Leonard looked down at his arm, at the tattoo that could just be seen under his shirt-sleeve. He pulled it up to show him, the image of Alice from Disney's Alice in Wonderland, surrounded by the flowers. It was pretty damn colourful, and it had cost a hell of a lot, but he had a cool uncle who live in Washington who gave him the money for it. "A tattoo." He answered. "Got it done on my eighteenth birthday. I was gonna get a whole sleeve, but my dad said it'll make it harder to get into college."

Jim's brow furrowed. "I don't think so." He said, his voice soft. He hated arguing with anyone, even if they weren't there. Well, everyone except Leonard. "Times are changing, y'know? And I think it'd be great. Would it all be Disney?"

"I don't know." Leonard answered. "I think so. Fairy tale characters. It'd be nice. And I'm kind of thinking about pediatrics, anyway." He shrugged his shoulders as if it meant nothing to him, when really, it meant everything. He'd always wanted to be a doctor, and pediatrics... well, looking after kids just felt right. Felt noble.

Jim reached out and traced the tattoo with his fingertip, head tilting as he copied the pattern. Goosebumps raised across Leonard's skin, and he gulped, keeping extra still under Jim's touch.

"Maybe I'll get another." Leonard murmured, and Jim looked up, as if startled out of deep thought. "Any ideas?"

"The Lion King." Jim answered. "You should get something from the Lion King next."

Leonard nodded, and Jim withdrew his hand. "I'll keep that in mind."

~*~

Leonard kept thinking about the way Jim had touched him. How casual it had all been, how much he wanted to feel more. Jim's hand had been soft as it had taken his, and firm as it held his arm still. It gave him new material, that was for sure. He propped himself up against the shower wall, hand wrapped around his cock, and thought about Jim pinning him down, strong hands holding him against the mattress as he fucked him, fucked him hard and rough. Jim didn't seem like the type, he was too sweet, and too gentle, but everyone had a hidden side. Maybe he was an animal in the bedroom.

God, Leonard hoped he'd find out.

They started sitting together in World History, Leonard's only lesson without Christine (although when Christine started dating Janice she moved to sit next to her a lot, so Jim would take her place more often than not), and when they had to do a project on a Russian monarch, of course they decided to do it together.

"It'll be great!" Jim beamed as they walked home, bouncing on the balls his feet, vibrating with excitement. They had arranged for him to just come straight back to his place, promising that his step dad wouldn't be mad, and his mom wasn't home anyway. "Everyone's gonna go for Nicholas cause he's the easy option- I bet we can get a higher mark if we do something different. Maybe Catherine the Great. Oo, she'd be a good one! We should pick her."

"Whatever you want, kid." Leonard chuckled. He was going to try hard to get the marks, but he knew it would be Jim that won it for them both. The kid was a genius. "You know what you're talking about."

Jim talked none stop when they got back to Leonard's, even making his mom chuckle as she went about doing chores.

"Did you know that she overthrew her husband to have the throne all to herself? And she wasn't even Russian! She was Prussian! Which is kind of like Germany but not Germany, and they wanted her to rule all on her own! And she faced so many rebellions from the serfs and the peasants, and she managed to put all of them down-"

"Jim, calm down." Leonard warned. "Your face is turning blue."

Jim blushed, staining his cheeks pink, and he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry." He murmured.

"Don't be sorry." Leonard said, shaking his head. "I was just worried you'd suffocate."

When he laughed, Jim laughed too. They got on with the project fairly well; it wasn't due for the next day, but with them staying over, they got a lot done. More so than most. And honestly, Leonard was disappointed. He'd been hoping to draw this out, to make it last, but they got their project over with in a few days and Jim went back to sleeping at his own house.

Though Leonard could have sworn that he looked disappointed too.

Their presentation earned them an A+. The first A+ Leonard had ever received in History.

Jim bumped his shoulder as they walked home. "I'm proud of you, Bones." He said, and he sounded so earnest that it made Leonard's heart skip in his chest.

"I couldn't have done it withot you." Leonard said. "Literally. Couldn't have. You did most of the work."

Jim shook his head, but chose not to argue. Leonard's house was first on their way home, and he stopped outside. He grabbed Jim's arm when he went to walk away, to halt him.

"Why don't you stay over again?" He asked. "It's a Friday night. And I've got few good movies on pay per view. It'll be fun."

"Will your mom not mind?" Jim asked, looking at the house over his shoulder.

Leonard shook his head. "She loves you, Jim. More than she loves me, I think." he laughed, and Jim laughed with him. "Come on. You can go home and get your stuff, if you want?"

Jim looked at the road ahead, and nodded. "I'll be back in ten minutes." He told Bones, heading off at high speed.

Leonard chuckled, and stepped inside, but only when Jim's retreating figure had disappeared around the corner.

~*~

They decided to watch Mean Girls on pay per view, and Leonard's mom got them some stuff from the store. Leonard shimmied out of his jacket and threw it on the back of his chair; though he never went out without, and wore it the entire day, he always took it off when he went home. He even changed his shirt, the sleeves a little shorter than his usual shirt. His tattoo was poking out of the bottom, and Jim tilted his head. He rooted through his bag, producing his pencil case, and pulled out his sharpies.

He honest to god had the largest collection of sharpies Leonard had ever seen, in every colour, and now he was using them to draw on Leonard's arm.

"What're you doing?" Leonard asked, a smile on his lips as he turned to look at Jim. "Didn't know you were an artist."

Jim gave a tiny smile, and a tiny blush. He was getting better at the blushing thing, not blushing as much, and Leonard had to admit that he missed Jim's full-body blushes. Not that he ever got to see the good parts.

"I'm not." Jim answered. "But I wanted to fill in the rest."

Leonard grinned. Over the course of the night, Jim drew all over his arm- he started with Simba, and then Dumbo, adding in Snow White and the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty, and Mickey Mouse as Merlin. He filled in the gaps with little things, little doodles, each one as colourful as his actual tattoo. Leonard was probably going to get ink poisoning, but he didn't mind.

Jim finished the sleeve off with Gus, from Cinderella. He coloured in his shirt and his hat, and then he looked up at Leonard.

Leonard had been looking down at him the entire time, watching him. He stuck his tongue out sometimes as he drew, and pursed his lips. Sometimes he licked them, and Leonard had to shift a little, think of his grandma or something to keep from getting a boner.

But when Jim looked up, their faces were ridiculously close. Leonard blinked, and Jim looked startled, and Leonard just couldn't help but stare. He was taken by surprise when Jim kissed him, slowly, carefully. So surprised that he jut couldn't reciprocate.

"I- I'm so sorry, Bones, I don't- I didn't mean to- Oh god, I-"

Leonard shut him up by kissing him hard, mashing their lips together and pulling Jim into him. He shifted them both so that Jim was lying on his back and Leonard was hovering over him, lying between his legs. He was so tempted to grind his hips down, but he didn't. Not yet.

"I've wanted to do that for months." Leonard gasped as he pulled away, leaning his forehead against Jim's. "Months." He repeated.

Jim grinned, his smile stretching from ear to ear. "Me too." He murmured.

So Leonard didn't hesitate to lean down and join their lips again, slower this time, sweeter, trailing his tongue along the seam of Jim's lips and savouring their taste. He wasn't going to waste any more time, now that he knew Jim wanted him too. He had so much lost time to make up for.


End file.
